BIG DEAL by Janet Lambert

I have done a disservice to Buff and Bobo. If you don't recognize the names, that is because I only gave them the most cursory of introductions in the post on CINDA . They are the younger siblings of Cinda Hollister and they are kind of adorable. Buff is very girly and likes being perfect and getting attention, Bobo is lazy and only helps out when it serves his purposes. For some reason I hated the slow rollout of Tippy and Bobby Parrish in the Penny books (well, probably because Bobby ended up being Bobby) but I love how B&B get a little more nuanced in each of the Cinda books. I hope we get to see them become more the focus of the stories as the Hollister saga continues. 

I also neglected to mention a HUGE plot point when I wrote up FLY AWAY CINDA, the second installment. Cinda's best friend is Kitty Lou who is described thusly in BIG DEAL - "All the adults in Glenvale agreed that Kitty Lou would be a 'raving, tearing beauty in a few years,' so she constantly prepared for that breath-stopping time. She couldn't eat chocolate fudge sundaes with whipped cream on top lest lumps of gat appear in the wrong places; and because she looked like a blond, blue-eyed fairy who could easily turn into a dimpled cherub if she weren't careful of her calories, she often glared enviously over her lemonade at Cinda, who could eat anything and never gain a pound." Which is a little harsh and fat-shamey, but describes Kitty-Lou perfectly.

Anyway, in the last book Kitty-Lou had a big crush on Page, the BMOC. He was an entitled rich-boy who liked to play chicken on the highway. Cinda figured out how lame he was right away, but KL wasn't as lucky and ended up getting in to a serious crash while out riding with him. He tried to blame it on her and only Cinda's father's detective work and lawyering skills got him his just desserts - which were loss of license and boarding school. It was kind of a big deal (Get it? Hee...) and I'm surprised that I left it out of the recap. Anyway, it shows up in this one and will just tell you up front that Page is sorry and Kitty Lou is forgiving. Which is nice.

This book has two main arcs. The first is that the town is expanding and the Hollisters' amazing and overwrought house is going to be right in the middle of the new commercial district. A hospital wants to buy it, but where is the family going to move? Well, it turns out they are going to move to an awesome new house that is a little bit more richie-rich, but also further out of town. Cinda, because she is a little goofball, gets her parents to let her move the old fashioned stained glass window that she loves to the new house so all is well. Lambert illustrates this expansion and the impact quite neatly.

The second arc is that because of the move, the Hollisters are unable to go to the shore and are thus stuck at home for the summer. Cinda is bored and decides to put on a show. I love the whole "Let's put on a show!" vibe and there's all kinds of excitement. Cinda is a born organizer and they end up using the proceeds to buy a wheelchair for a "poor crippled girl". I have to say that Cinda is pretty modern in her desire to have Thelma be part of the fun rather than just an object of pity. Well done, Cinda.

In my earlier Lambert reads, I would take copious notes and now I do not, and frankly, it shows. So now I am just dog ear-ing pages of interest and then later trying to figure out why. Here are what I think are the things I want to remember.

• At one point Kitty-Lou calls Cinda and Paul "crazy squares" and this slang feels so awkward that I just loved it. 
• Cinda doesn't want to go to "the club" because the pool there is full of "ancients who think the 'younger set' as they call us, has no right to be in it." Oh, that intergenerational conflict!
• Paul and Cinda talk about their futures and Cinda says, "People get married, you know. Men go off to their jobs and women stay home to theirs." Yikes!
• When the kids are trying to come up with a name for the show someone says "Teen-Age Frolic" and Paul says, "I think the Frolic part's good. I don't go for the Teen-Age, though. This teen-age business has been run in the ground." Yes, the phrase teen-age is definitely not going to stick around...
• On the same page, Janet has Warren call Kitty-Lou "sexy" and Lindsay sticks up for her as if it was an awful thing to say. 
• Cinda and Paul have a discussion about kissing wherein we read Paul's thoughts that sure, he'd kiss some hussy, but Cinda is the kind of girl you don't kiss until you are ready to marry her. 
• More on the "crazy teen-age" front - Lindsay says, "Times have changed, kid. Teen agers don't just read the news now, they make it. Good or bad, they make it. 

I have to say that Janet keeps her opinions right there on top of her fiction. She still believes that teenagers can be good, but it is a slippery slope and kissing and being wild are always dangers unless they use their powers for good.  There are always dating and crushes and it always seems like she thinks it is fine if a boy is crazy about a girl, but if a girl is crazy about a boy it is a recipe for trouble. If you thought her propaganda game was good during WW2, just wait until she starts in on going steady in her next book, GOING STEADY. 

Stay tuned!

THE PRECIOUS DAYS by Janet Lambert

 

Hey, it's a new family - the Campbells! And they are weird. Seriously weird for Janet. The Dad is a former professor, an intellectual who should be writing, but is not. The mom is an artist who also lives in her head. They roam the sea on a refurbed Chinese junk and have been in all kinds of exoric ports, but are currently in, I believe, New Jersey.

The eldest of the three kids are Sandra who is sixteen and believes that everyone is constantly judging her. She is kind of a pill, but frankly, she is doing most of the parenting on that boat and I get why she is so pissed all the time. Her parents are completely clueless about what it is like to be a teenager, particularly at a time when conformity is so important. And also, she is stunningly beautiful.

Josie is the middle child, so of course she is awesome. She is a young 14 in many ways, but she is also an excellent problem-solver and the best wing-man a big sister could have.  There is a younger brother - Tenny - who is probably 11-ish and extremely well adjusted, as Lambertian younger brothers usually are, Bobby Parrish notwithstanding.  

The kids' names are actually Cassandra, Josephine and Tennyson, which I am sure seemed strange at the time, but are now (with the possible exception of Tennyson) pretty run of the mill now. 

So they live on a boat and the girls are hanging out on the dock and see some townies. Sandra acts all weird and speaks a foreign language and gets angry to be noticed. It is fascinating because she feels like she is being looked down on, when in reality everyone can see she is fascinating. Janet does a wonderful job of painting that teenage-navel-gazing thing where they just know that everyone is staring at them and they feel so exposed. She also gives a look at economic disparity that is fairly realistic. It's all well educated white folks, but still.

The story is a delight. This boy - Jay Stagliano (an Italian-American - so exotic!) gets an eyeful of Sandra and decides to rush her. She, somewhat awkwardly, pretends to be a woman of mystery and it frees her up to enjoy herself. She is eventually revealed to be who she is, but Jay is not put off. He actually finds her even more fascinating! The rest of the book is a mix of Sandra giving in to the social pull of belonging and allowing herself to have fun and the family as a whole recognizing that some changes need to be made as the kids get older. Josie and Tenny, who are a little young to feel the sting of "different-ness" as much as Sandra, are pulled into the fun and her parents eventually recognize that they have been dropping the ball parenting-wise. 

The Campbells do end up hitting the road (or more precisely, the sea) at the end of the book, but there is more structure, and more money, in their future. Jay doesn't declare his love to Sandra at the end of the book - Lambert's boys NEVER declare love at first book - but he lets us readers into his heart and shows that it only beats for her. And luckily, he is wealthy, so he plans to go visit the Campbells wherever they end up. (I am currently reading FOR EACH OTHER, and he shows up in Haiti.) All in all, a satisfactory conclusion.

MYSELF AND I by Janet Lambert

 

Goodness, Susan really does have the beauty of Gwenn with the nice demeanor of Alcie. She is the best of both worlds and Bobby Parrish must either own or destroy her! Bobby is just gross. 

So Susan has an epiphany with the help of Ellin the housekeeper about how she is always doing for others and doesn't take time to do any self-care, as we call it nowadays. She has just gotten a job at a bookstore and is very excited about it. However, before she can begin, she ends up drawing the short straw and has to help drive Tippy and Tippy Two to Fort Knox, where Peter is newly stationed. And frankly, it is fascinating! 

I read a great journal article about Lambert with the following quote in it - “ I loved and still do love Lambert’s attentiveness to history and context. Open up a lot of [other books of that era] and you could be in [any] McWorld. But if you open up Janet Lambert you know she understood how 1946 differed from 1950.”  And she is the same with her settings. Fort Knox and Fort Jay are very different, and you can tell that Janet knows them both like the back of her hand. 

Susan only plans to stay a day or so and then fly home because she doesn't want to give Bobby Parrish (also stationed at Fort Knox) the idea that she has come out to see him. She is very much into playing the field and Booby, I mean Bobby, wants to shackle her to him. 

There is a delightful bit when Tippy first sees the lousy lodgings on the base but quickly knows how to deal with it. She is such a good army wife!  Tippy Two is the best baby in the world, apparently, and other than needing the occasional diaper change, is quite easy to manage. 

The same can not, however, be said of Bobby. He fakes a tank injury to try to get Susan to stay out longer. It works in the short run. She really does care about him and wants him to get well. But in the long run it destroys any hope that she will marry him because he keeps being an entitled, childish, dolt. 

She comes home only a bit later than she intended and she has a delightful date with Keith Drayton (I think he's Drayton, oh the fogginess of my mind) where they talk about the future. He will be collecting patents and she will be running a bookshop empire! 

Bobby comes home for a few days, but she avoids him. There is a scary bit where we find out that Bitsy has been riding around with him trying to pump her for details about Susan and I want to cry out, 
"Don't get in the car, Bitsy! He's a PREDATOR!" But I manage not to. 

Susan has decided to keep working at the book store and perhaps attend some classes at Hunter College, when her father (who has been worried that she is pining for Bobby) surprises her with the offer (obligation, more like) of a trip to "the Orient" where she can be his 'hostess' for a business junket. WHAT WILL SHE DO? 

Two cliffhangers in a row, Janet? What are you up to??

A SONG IN THEIR HEARTS by Janet Lambert

 Tippy is back! And she's knocked up! Ken Prescott is the father, of course. 

Just kidding, it's our stalwart Peter. There is some heteronormative arguing about if the baby will be a boy or a girl and it turns out to be a girl - Tippy Two, which is just as gross as can be. But the Jordans are lovely. 

But I have BIG NEWS - CANDY KANE is back! You know I love some Candy. She and Barton are living in the Philippines as well and Tip and Candy have become friends. 

It turns out that Barton is still a man-baby. He is controlling and secretive and I do wonder if it isn't chemical, because his mother has always been a delight. 

The struggles in this book are two-fold. The Jordans are going back state-side and they are having a baby and it's not easy when the army tells you next to nothing about what is going to happen. But Tippy is a natural army wife and she makes it work. There is also a housekeeper/cook who is annoying, but also excellent. 

The other issue is Barton making plans without consulting Candy at all which leads to Candy singing in public like a whore and Barton getting worse, and Candy taking a job singing on a record and oh my the DRAMA! 

The book ends on a bit of a cliff hanger with the Jordan's on a boat back to the states. Stay tuned!

FLY AWAY, CINDA by Janet Lambert

 

It has been ages since I read this, but one thing sticks in my mind - the awful way the Hollisters respond to a possible Filipino houseguest for the holidays. More on that later...

So remember Cinda? She is the girl who has the superpower of fixing unhappy people. She fixed Paula last book. Paula's dad died in WW2 and her mom had recently remarried and Paula was pissed. But it all worked out. She shows up later. 

It is coming on Christmas and War Horse, the oldest Hollister is coming home for the holidays with a friend from the Philippines. Everyone is older now - maybe a year, maybe 2 - it's hard to keep track. Money is tight-ish, the house still sounds beautiful, but it is old, which is bad in Lambert-land. 

Paula is coming too and Jinx (middle brother) is thrilled because he fancies her. 

Cinda has befriended a boy called Paul. Maybe her super-power isn't fixing unhappy people, but rather people whose first name begins with PAUL. Anyway, he is nice, if a little dull, but they strike up a friendship and she helps give him the courage to leave his very unhappy home (a formerly rich family who has lost anything, but is unable to stop keeping up appearances) and strike out on his own, to FLY AWAY, if you will.

The other children are there, but we shall ignore them because they are so forgettable that I seem to have forgotten whatever subplots they may have gotten themselves into. 

So there is much talk of rice and homesickness and foreigners RUINING EVERYTHING for Christmas. Cinda worries, "He might even be a heathen." Good grief. Turns out that the person in question is the son of missionaries from Bangkok, Thailand - not even the Phillippines. Good grief. The whole thing is unnecessary and gross and so of the time. 

Paula knows Jinx is into her but tries to get War Horse to come to New York with her. It comes to nothing. I think Janet is trying to make her into the snooty foil. I guess not everyone can be likeable. 

I am sure it comes as no surprise that everything turns out lovely and Paul and Cinda are better friends than ever. I have to say I like Cinda, but am finding the books to be distinctly "meh". Perhaps I am a heathen. 

LOVE TAPS GENTLY by Janet Lambert

 There is much to find icky in this book and it can all be laid at the feet of that decrepit old man on the hipper cover above - Bobby Parrish. 

Oh Bobby, he started out as a teasing lout and remains so, but also a borderline pedophile who is "in love" with 16 year old Susan Jordan, in spite of being a (barely) West Point graduate. 

There are some sweet parts of this book, of course, but the looming threat of Bobby's dreams of love just make me want to hurl. Only the reintroduction of snotty little Bitsy and the delightful schadenfreude of Gwenn's near death experience make this worth reading.

So - to recap from A DREAM FOR SUSAN - Susan, her twin Neal and ol' whatshisname (okay, fine, it's Vance) are now living in their little dream cottage on the Parrish estate and their dad, newly retired from the military, is living with them. 

Two bolts from the blue hit them at once. First, Gwenn - the most horrible of all the Jordans - is planning on suing her step-father (Susan's dad, it's a lot of exposition, just trust me) for mis-managing her inheritance from her mother. He has not, and Alcie (now married to Jonathan Drayton and happy) can back this up. But Gwenn's stupid, vain husband Bill is running through cash and she has to do something. ALSO, little sister Bitsy who has been living in England with the oldest Jordan, Jennifer and her titled husband, is coming back to the good old US of A to be raised as an AMERICAN girl. 

So. Much. DRAMA!

There is much decorating, changing of rooms and generally getting ready for Bitsy. Also, Keith Drayton (Alcie's brother in law) is a clean teen who is very into Susan. At one point she almost thinks about considering going steady with him. But she doesn't for no good reason other than Janet Lambert thinks going steady is for whores. 

Bitsy arrives and is a snot who we figure out is jealous that Jennifer (essentially her mother for most of her life) has had a baby of her own. But she gets better. As with so many of us, she observes the horror-show that is Gwenn and decides to be a better person. 

Gwenn comes to get her filthy lucre, but it turns out that she is super skinny and all drugged up and needs to be sedated and fed. She ends up back with Bill and is hopefully going to get the help that she needs, far, far away. 

And then there's Bobby. He declares his love for Susan even though it is clear that it makes her deeply uncomfortable. He kisses her, so now she is soiled, or marked for death or something. He is just gross. It seems like he is just too entitled and lazy to go find a more age-appropriate future wife. It is a textbook case of grooming. In his (mild, barely-deserved) defense, he doesn't want to marry her now, he wants to wait for her, but still, he is desperately trying to take away her agency in the whole future of her love life and I hate it. I don't have a problem with age difference in relationships, even in Lambert. Penny Parrish and her husband are 10+ years apart, but they met as adults and they are a good fit. Bobby just creeps me out. Have I made that clear?

I am now more than halfway through A SONG IN THEIR HEARTS and am becoming reacquainted with Candy Kane, and am enjoying a pretty feminist sub-plot from the usually patriarchal Lambert. Perhaps that will get the taste of Bobby Parrish out of my mouth. And yes, I know how gross that sounds. Now you know how I feel!

MARY JANE by Jessica Anya Blau

 

During the Covid times I had the hardest time reading new fiction. I just didn't want real life or anything remotely sad. Super-editor Jen Hart gave me this book over the summer and I loved the cover, but I didn't crack it because, well, it wasn't written by Maud Hart Lovelace or Janet Lambert. 

But then I did, and boy was I thrilled!

This book ticks so many of my boxes - good girl rebelling, fake celebrities, precocious - but not irritating - children, good Christians and bad Christians and smoking pot as a form of comfort. Oh! And beach getaways!

The premise is that Mary Jane is hired as a mother's helper by a family in her Baltimore 'burb in the 1970s. Her family life is cold and structured. Her home is immaculate and her family shows up at the country club and church with the regularity of a Swiss train. Her mom is raising her to be a Stepford daughter and her reputation needs to be shiny and polished at all times. 

The family Cone hires her to take care of their delightful daughter Izzy and she is ushered into a world where cleanliness is next to impossible and all meals are takeout. 

Izzy is the sort of child that could have come across as irritating with a less delicate writer, but she squirms delightfully across the pages. Sure, she is irritating, but in a realistic way and the bond that grows between she and Mary Jane feels real. 

Mr. Cone is a therapist and his client is Jimmy, a huge rock star who is struggling with addiction. Jimmy's wife Sheba seems like a cross between Cher and Marie Osmond (if you can believe it) and is far more wise and grounded than you'd think.  They are deeply in love and committed to Jimmy's recovery. Mrs. Cone has some issues with her own standing in the adult group and it makes for some uncomfortable and satisfying moments. 

The story unfolds beautifully. There is always the undercurrent of worry that Mary Jane is going to get caught in the lies she tells her mother. But the truth is that she is changing the lives of the people she works for as much as they are changing hers. She takes the lessons of cooking and cleaning that are so important to mer mom and uses them to teach the adults around her (and Izzy) that sometimes these traditional things are a form of self-care. 

And she is changed as well. She learns that "weird" people are often wonderful and that there are many ways of thinking about things. What I loved the most is the church-y bits. So often in fiction religion is shown as a crutch or a ball and chain. And certainly the rigid WASPy-ness of Mary Jane's family is damaging, but Jimmy and Sheba, with all their worldliness, make a good argument for the comfort and joy of faith. 

The culmination of the story is a week on the shore and the twists are always satisfyingly just shy of jarring. They will surprise, but they work. I felt that the ending was somewhat unexpected, but just right. I can't wait to forget the details of this book so that I can read it again and be delighted anew. For now, I will just tell everyone I know to read it! So go read it.

HIGH HURDLES by Janet Lambert

 

Well, you can't tell from the look of terror on Dria's face, or the look of profound sadness on Tom's, but at the start of HIGH HURDLES, Miss Alexandria Meredith is on top of the world! She is about to begin her tenure as the editor of the Hi-Bomb the ridiculously named school paper. She has ol' neighbor Rob sniffing around her and her recent memories of her summer on the farm riding Star Dream, the horse her beloved great-grandmother has gifted her. 

Her pals from SUMMER FOR SEVEN are still around. Willie and Millie have graduated and Will is BMOC over at Perdue, Millie can't quite swing college, but she has plans and is improving herself taking post-grad classes at the high school. Holly is still a snob and everyone enjoys busting her chops about how pretentious she is about her summer abroad. 

So, to jump in, Mama (Dria's grandmother who doesn't like to be called anything that makes her sound old like, you know, grandmother) has a bee in her bonnet about Dria riding in the International Horse Show at Madison Square Garden. It'll be a treat for Dria and not at all a way for Mama to swan about high society like a giant radioactive Holly. 

Dria loves Star Dream, but also recognizes her obligation to the Hi-Bomb and the amount of work it will take to get ready. She eventually decides to do it and Star Dream and his needs take over her life. Tom comes up from the far with the horse and helps out. He is cheerful and good as a servant should be, but dang, he looks like 40 miles of hard road on the cover. 

The prepping for the show parts are good and there is some misunderstanding and jealousy with Rob and I could not care less. Rob is a football star and dull as snot. But I do love the scene where his mom helps him figure out a "please forgive me for being a dink" gift for Dria. 

The book really shines once they get to New York. Lambert has clearly been in the horse world and she covers Dria's not-at-all-surprising wins in the ring perfectly. There isn't too much horsy stuff for those of us who aren't horsy, but there is enough to make us feel like we know what is going on. 

There is a manufactured conflict where Mama wants Dria to stay longer to finish out the show. (She had promised to return to school after a week, but if you don't think Mama can't get her out of that obligation, you don't know Mama at all!) There is also a lovely bit where Willie, Millie and Rob show up in New York to see Dria. And frickin' Camilla Lou shows up acting spoiled and dancing with foreigners just to make Dria look extra awesome. She never disappoints!

The book ends with Mama respecting Dria for keeping her word, Dria loving Mama for understanding her and making sure that Mama visits more. Rob and Dria are apparently in love and none of these rich people has offered to send Millie to college yet. Hopefully there's another Dria book so we can get this shit sorted out!

I thought this book was delightful and while the details have become hazy - I really must write up these recaps the minute I finish them! - I enjoyed it thoroughly.

My Jeopardy Experience part 2 - THE GAME!

If I had just read Alexi Grishin's THE LEGENDS OF THE KNIGHTS TEMPLAR instead of only claiming to have read it, I might be sitting in my own beautiful hot tub right now. But even though I remain unsubmerged, my Jeopardy journey is still one I will never regret.  And one that I am becoming increasingly unable to remember. Hence the writing it down!

Before I begin my story chronologically, as God intended, here are the answers to the two questions people have asked me over and over.

1. I would have loved Levar Burton as host for many reasons - his warmth and kindness foremost - but it is a steep learning curve to run the game smoothly and quickly. I think the producer who has been on the show for years and the astrophysicist who was a natural and had everyone out of the studio in Alex Trebek level time were smart picks initially if the studio was hoping to be able to stop paying the crew massive overtime right away.  Of course that didn't work out, but I adore Ken Jennings - read his books, and his Tweets, he's hysterical!

2. Matt was lovely, I am thrilled that he continues to win. And win. And win. Here is a nice article about him that will make you like him too. 

And now that I have cleared those up. This is a face I made on actual television. 

And that is how I actually felt the WHOLE TIME. But I was able to hid it a wee bit...

They played the song, we were introduced, Levar came out and talked about RIF (Reading is Fundamental), he revealed the categories and we were off!

Matt got the first two, but I rang in for the $1000 clue about the alphabet. And it was a -stan!! I studied those! I rang in and there was an uncomfortably long pause before Levar told me I got to answer. It was Uzbekistan! The greatest of all the -stans! (Not counting Sebastian Stan, of course.)

Matt showboated for three more questions and then John got one.

But then we were back to geography - my sweet spot, who knew?? It was the Great Lakes. You bet I knew this one. Although I made a nervous face of relief after leading to my second favorite tweet of the night. 

My favorite city in the world is Minneapolis (Suck it, London!) and I would have sworn that I swept that category. But Matt got Jesse Ventura. I knew it, just not quickly enough to beat that over-educated youngster. I got hip replacement, though! Us golden-agers know all about the hip replacements.

I got bicameral, but Speedy McYale beat me on byline. And he got the first daily double. DRAT!!

Then the Minneapolis Miracle happened! They showed the statue that reminds the residents of the Twin Cities that they are going to make it after all and Matt ID-ed it as Mary Tyler Moore. I was pissed, but then I (slowly) realized that they asked for the CHARACTER! Jon rang in before me, but he guessed the wrong Mary and I was thrilled to put that to bed with Mary RICHARDS!! None of us was willing to guess on state capitals and we went to commercial break.

Except we didn't - we just went to the stories part. Jon talked about his girls. I told a stupid story about writing new lyrics to songs. And I said I can rewrite any song after 1962, but it is really 1992 - so it isn't that stupid of a skill. Levar called it a super-power, so whatever! I had two funny jokes on the topic, but because we only have about 10 seconds apiece, I did not get to deliver them. I wish I had talked about the Betsy Tacy Convention or my colleagues with whom I play trivia, but I went with this one. It was fine, but I was hoping to get a laugh. Oh well. 

Matt and I both messed up hurricane categories, but I got the eye, and land. Because I have been in hurricanes. Then I didn't get any for awhile. 

I got the median nerve, because it is the middle child of the nerves. I went back to the alphabet and got San Diego! And then I made this face on television.

When will I learn how cameras work?

I was too slow for Mall of America and the tongue. I did get the sound of crickets - just as I have in real life so many times - and the final clue of the round - Purple Rain. That was the cassette that was caught in my friend's tape deck when we drove to New York and back freshman year of college. Believe you me, I know that soundtrack! And I showed all my teeth in Prince's honor. 

Then we came back for double Jeopardy. Not that we went anywhere. No commercial breaks for the contestants, or for Levar. 

During the round there were some timing issues and a question that needed to be replaced, but since I was in a fugue state and remember very little that I can't see on TV, I don't remember the specifics. But it was interesting how it all went together. When they changed up the clue, we all had to turn our backs to the board - that's all I remember. Sorry. There is a reason I tell myself to write things down as soon as they happen. And yet...

ON TO DOUBLE JEOPARDY! 

Levar presents the categories and Jon picks first. I got Sweeny Todd, Gene Wilder, Brie Larson (awkwardly) and Jon got the other two (in the Actors Sing category) so clearly pop culture is not Matt's bag! He got LEGO and started on the Knights Templar. 

Matt missed the answer about what the knights decorated their outfits with by saying "cross" and I tried to bat cleanup with "crucifix" - which I quickly realized was a stupid answer and proceeded to roll my eyes at myself and make an almost cricifix-y arm movement. 

Ooh - but look! I'm beating Matt here - ever so briefly... And then Matt got the first daily double. It is a good thing, because I would have bet everything and lost it all because I had no idea.  He quickly got the next daily double which he got wrong, but I would have gotten it right. Alas...

It was the Matt show for the next bunch of questions. None of us would guess on the Templars - why didn't I read Alexi's book??? - Jon got a couple, but it's mostly Matt. None of us were guessing on those foreign jobs.  But then Ladies of the 80's came up. Why, I am a lady of the 80's! I was pleased. 

I got Vanity Fair, Gerry Ferraro and my favorite part of the whole show, gently admonishing America to "Just Say No" to drugs. (And everyone who knew me in college started laughing uproariously, I am sure...)

Then Matt and I both missed Florence Griffith Joyner and Levar was like, "It's Flo-Jo, you dumbasses!" [And Twitter concurred. They ripped all of us new ones for missing the most famous Black female athlete of the 80s. Did they not notice we are huge nerds?]

In my defense, it was a sports question and I shouldn't even have guessed, but I did remember Jackie Joyner-Kersee because I loved the way her name rolled off the tongue and was even in alphabetical order. And hyphenated! So, so sophisticated. 

Here is Levar's face when we missed it. Pretty priceless...

I would have gotten Sally Ride, but frickin' Matt was too dang fast. Jon beat him on Bank though. And I got the Pope, so there... And I snuck in Coral at the last minute keeping it from being a complete shut-out. 

Fun fact - only 5 of Matt's games were not shut-outs and as of September 30, I came closer to beating him in the final score than anyone. (That is why I hope he keeps winning forever.)

And now ON TO FINAL JEOPARDY -

You can't see the little bit of my soul that died when Levar announces the category MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURES. I don't know anything about mythology and even less about animals. It might as well have been SPORTS FASHIONS. Alas...

Now, here is some insider info about final Jeopardy. Those little blocker things that come up look HUGE when you are on stage, but I had never even noticed them before! And they give you all the time you need to put in your wager. We were like 10 minutes doing simple math over and over to make sure we got it right. I knew the only way I would win would be if Matt didn't get it right and I did, so I only had to beat 24,400. But if I got it wrong, I still wanted to be able to beat Jon and get my second place winnings! And it only took me 10 minutes to figure out how to do that. They also remind you to write WHAT IS before you put down your answer. Apparently too many people were getting it wrong for want of the form of a question. 

When I heard the question, I was thrilled! I have to thank Albus Dumbledore for that. He was a horrible educator, but he knew his way around a Phoenix. When they showed us answering the question, Matt looked like he was really confused, I looked like I was drawing a cartoon and Jon looked like he was hoping for the best. 

Jon missed it, but smartly gave himself $50 in case I bought the farm. Then it was revealed that I got it correct! The host is supposed to give what they call "the factoid" after the first correct answer, but Levar kept forgetting. (It was his FIRST DAY, cut him some slack!) It was wonderful for me because every time he revealed my score he would say, "You're in the lead, Barb!" and I could have listened to that all day. Sadly, it was cut in editing, I guess. But here is the beautiful picture of me BEATING MATT'S ASS!! 

And that is where it ended. I was victorious and went on to win over $1 million on the show. I am still in Los Angeles, playing RIGHT NOW! 

Okay fine - it ended like this - 

But it was still awesome. I got to ask Levar if he would care for a Coco Nono and he answered right back, "I never lie when I have sand in my shoes." And I swooned like any self-respecting Start Trek fangirl. 

Then Jon told a beautiful story about how Levar instilled a love of reading in him through READING RAINBOW that changed the entire course of his life and I choked up. And I think Levar did too.  Honestly, everyone involved in the entire process was just wonderful. Everyone on staff was professional and helpful. Levar was everything I dreamed he would be as a host and as a human being. The other contestants were fun and collegial - even Matt. He was a sincerely nice guy and deserves all his success. 

I just wish he was a few seconds slower on that signaling device. 

CINDA by Janet Lambert

 

I honestly can't tell which of these covers is most horrifying! Just kidding, the one in the center definitely is. But it's too bad about Cinda's wretched face, because the beach scene looks like tons of fun!

We have a new heroine! Cinda Hollister is 14 and quite the busybody. She has two older brothers - Warren [War-horse] and Lindsay [Jinx]. Warhorse is from the David Parrish school of strong, big-hearted, seriously repressed boys and Jinx is of the Bobby Parrish school of horn-dogs.  There is another brother and sister, Bobo and Buff, but they are babies. Actually, the girl, Buff, is kind of funny. She plays a lot of make-believe in a way that makes it clear that she is doing a lot of eaves-dropping. I hope she gets to grow up in these Hollister books!

So the story is thus - there is a cousin Paula who is 15 and butt-hurt that her mother has found love after having lost her husband in WW2 when Paula was but a baby. Her sister has taken Paula in while the newlyweds are in Europe and Auntie and niece are visiting in Cinda's town. 

Because Paula is such a dud, Cinda decides to fix her. And she does. End of story.

There is also a bit where the kids trade in some crap boats for a good boat for their father. And they show Paula how to be a family. Also, they are at the beach. Did I mention that? My favorite part is when a college boy asks Cinda out to a dance and she turns him down by telling him that she is, in fact, jailbait. But she does it in such an engaging way that no one is embarrassed and even her brothers are proud of her. 

This is a nice book for the younger girls and while it does have boats, which is not great, at least it doesn't have horses! (I kid, because I just started HIGH HURDLES at the gym last night and now I am all horsed up!) Like all of Lamberts heroines, Cinda is a sweet kid who thinks about others and tries to make the world a better place. I have not yet put together a hierarchy of Lambert heroines - although I love Dria, Candy and Susan for their self-awareness - but she's similar to Penny. She's Penny-light, if you will.

You will enjoy Cinda, just don't look too closely at the covers because you will surely go blind!

A DREAM FOR SUSAN by Janet Lambert

 

Oh the Jordans! What a lovely family! Except for Gwenn, of course. Our heroine for this tome is Susan. She was little in the previous books, but Tippy took some notice of her in WELCOME HOME, MRS JORDAN and Janet hinted in one of the letters to "her girls" that Susan would eventually be a focus.

Susan has Alcie's sweet personality and Gwenn's smokin' hot looks - as indicated by the quite creepy way that Bobby Parrish tries to groom her as a future wife. She is also a twin to the lackluster Neal. He shows up halfway through the book, impressing no one.

When the story begins, Susan is on top of the world. She is about to leave her dull boarding school to move to Turkey with her father, the General [salute!], who will be stationed there. She will act as his hostess and be able to sleep as late as she wants. I can't remember if there is any mention of schooling, but whatever, school sucks. We don't like our girls over-educated in Lambert-world. That's boy stuff. 

Things go amiss right away. After a glorious send off, Susan receives a call in the night from the General [salute!], telling her that his "orders" have changed and he has to go to Japan where he won't be able to have family. This smells of bullshit, which I believe Marjorie Parrish calls out later. He has taking the Asian post to help his career which should, by rights, be over. 

Susan pleads with him to let her tell the headmistress and Alcie, who is scheduled to pick her up and get her on her way to Turkey the next morning. Except she doesn't. She just goes with her sister and tells her once they are home. 

Her thoughts about wanting a home are really heartbreaking. This is a girl who remembers very little of a time when she wasn't shunted off somewhere to make the General [salute!]'s life easier. Alcie feels this and offers to let her stay in her honeymoon house with her and Jon. But Susan is already having second thoughts. She is planning on going back to the boarding school and then perhaps getting a little house with her brothers for the next year. 

Enter Bobby Parrish.

This old creeper is sent from his parents to go get Susan with the story that the Parrishs are missing Tippy so much that they are miserable and they are desperate for Susan to stay with them. She comes down for "a visit" and ends up staying. 

She loves it there. Marjorie and Trudy give her all the maternal love that has been missing since Jennifer went to England. She thrives. If that wretched Bobby was not lurking around it would be great. She loves visiting with Penny and Caroll and their families as well. 

There is a little side-bit about how she kind of ghosted her boarding school friends which is quickly resolved. And then, come to find out, Joe and Lettie are going to get a house of their own and will be vacating the gatehouse. Guess who is going to live there?? Our little Susan and her dull brothers. It's a dream come TRUE for Susan!

Also, Jonathan's little brother Keith is quite into Susan and it makes Bobby jealous because he is a CHILD. I swear, if Bobby and Susan get married someday I will go bonkers. Other than that - this was a sweet one that I thoroughly enjoyed. 

Next up we have a whole new heroine - Cinda!

WELCOME HOME, MRS. JORDAN by Janet Lambert

 

I found it interesting that this book doesn't appear to have one of the 60s style covers that most of the other Tippy books have. Maybe because it is about young marrieds, they didn't rerelease it. This cover is bonkers. Peter looks like a giant, Tippy looks like she is made out of pipe cleaners and the dogs look completely demented - particularly Rollo.

So it turns out Tippy and Peter are to be married and the preparation is very fun to read. Tippy assumes they are going to Germany right after the wedding (which will be as soon as Peter gets his orders) but it turns out they are going to Panama! That wacky army!

The wedding is lovely and there is a nice bit about Susan Jordan - Peter's half-sister, about whom the next book is going to be written. 

The wedding takes up the first six chapters and there is a lot of exposition about who is who and how they are all related. You get this a LOT when the Jordans are involved because there are so danged many of them. 

The next section is the transport to Panama. Tippy and Peter get to have a stateroom to themselves, despite him being a lowly lieutenant, because of nepotism. They meet some other young military types and it seems fine. Tippy is straight-up army, Peter is so lucky to have her because she can take care of herself while he is doing his job.

But once they get to their cute little house, things go off the rails a bit. Tippy is bored by the other wives, she throws a party for the brass and it goes kerflooey (although her guests find it delightful) and worst of all she is desperately homesick. She writes to Penny, but Penny tells her to suck it up. Harsh!

Peter is a little nervous that Tippy is still missing Ken and it takes a while for him to realize that is not the case. 

But then a hero shows up. And, shockingly, it is the worst character in all of Lambert - it's Gwenn! Her stupid husband Bill is a movie star and he tells her that he doesn't want her to work, because she is his wife. But actually, she just sucks. Anyway she has had a tantrum so she runs off to Panama, as one does. 

Well, this is just what Tippy needs! She loves solving other people's problems and she is off to the races with Gwenn. She ends up spending something like $18 on long distance to call Bill to tell him to call Gwenn and beg her to come back. Which is just what Gwenn was planning on happening. 

It works - Gwenn leaves without saying goodbye (and takes one of Tippy's outfits with her) and Tippy realizes how much more wonderful her life is that nasty old Gwenn. Her attitude changes about the other young military wives and finally makes some good friends. She comes clean with Peter about the homesickness, which she had been trying to hide. Classic Tippy... He understands and they share a chair and talk it out. 

You know, I think these crazy kids just might make it work!

As always, Carly of Carly's Malt Shop has a great take on WELCOME HOME MRS. JORDAN here. 

RAINBOW AFTER RAIN by Janet Lambert

 

Check out these covers! It's our Tippy Parrish at her most tormented! When we last left Miss Tippy, she was still desperately sad over the loss of her fiancee, the inimitable Ken Prescott. Even though she was specifically told "Don't Cry Little Girl".  But there's a new/old man about her thoughts - Peter Jordan. You can see him in the window of the original cover.  He doesn't rate a spot on the hipper newer cover that is selling the career girl angle. 

So Tippy is a career girl. She is the assistant to the set designer on a television show. SO HIP!! But she hates it. It's a lot of stress, but what is she going to do, right? Then her boss, the tough-as-nails Miss Turnbull gets injured and Tippy takes over. And Penny is trying to pressure her to become an actress - as if!

The problem (and there always is a problem) is that Peter has come up from Texas, where he is stationed, and he wants to spend time with Tippy. She wants to spend time with him too, but this JOB! So he thinks she's not that into him, she's not sure he's that into her. And they are both crazy about each other. It's really just a matter of time.  

Enter Alcie and Jonathan Drayton.  Alcie knows her brother and Tippy belong together and she doesn't have the patience for that little lunkhead to figure it out herself. So she plots a party wherein she is going to make it look like Peter and her sister-in-law Christie are interested in each other. They are both aware of this plan and give in to Alcie because she is lovely. The description of the party is wonderful and the depiction of the Drayton's early marriage is a delight. We also get to catch up with some of the characters from the Drayton books. 

Tippy feels like she is betraying Ken, but Peter is growing on her. He also calls her Childie which makes me want to kill him.* But other than that - he is pretty great. He pulls her out of her funk and forces her to start living again. 

There is a bit with Tippy practically being forced to be an actress, but she quits her job instead and helps another working girl get her big break. 

There's some goofy stuff about Peter leaving, Tippy chasing him, a kiss and they're engaged. Wrapped up with a little bow. It was fine, but not as good as the previous book or the one that comes after!

*Carly, of Carly's Malt Shop says it well - "I cannot get behind this nickname at all. How is it pronounced? Child-EE? CHILL-dee? Either way, it's such a strange nickname that it trips me up every time I read it. Not to mention, the child part is a little creepy in a way that 'cherub' isn't." *Check out her take on RAINBOW AFTER RAIN here.