My Road to Jeopardy

 It began several years ago with the online test. It was the first (of many) times I would take it and I adored it. I have always loved taking tests - I know, I'm a weirdo - and this was the best one ever! Fifty clues with 10 or 15 seconds to answer; thankfully not in the form of a question. I felt pretty confident while I awaited the call that would surely come. 

The third time I took the test it did! I was invited to New York City to audition. My pal Kristine came with me and we had a grand time. The audition took place in a hotel. Twenty or thirty of us hopefuls sat down to take another 50 question test, play a practice game and pretend to be interviewed. I was charming and witty (in my mind if nowhere else) and was sure I would be invited to play soon.  We were all told that we were in the contestant pool for the next 18 months. Oh joy! At one point the coordinator asked those who had interviewed before to raise their hands. Over half of the participants put their hands up. She said, "Don't feel bad if you don't get called this time around, it can take some time."

Three years later, after taking the test yet again, in the midst of covid times, I was invited to a zoom interview. It followed the same narrative, minus the trip to NYC, and while I enjoyed it, I kept my expectations low. 

That must have been the trick because I received a text from the contestant booker asking if I could come to Los Angeles to play! Well, I was only one vaccine in to feeling good about traveling so I asked if I could hold off until I was fully shot. He was very kind and said he would reach out again in a month. 

Thirty days later I sent the text I had painstakingly constructed (over the past 30 days) to remind him that I existed, and he texted back with a date. IT WAS ON!!

I began reading about science and geography - definitely my weak spots. I decided to ignore sports. The field was too vast and I was too disinterested. I learned a lot of facts that I promptly forgot and I even began to understand some concepts that I had long given up on understanding. 

The safety measures the Jeopardy folks had in place were excellent. I had to take a test two days before traveling and I had to take another the day before playing. The communication from the studio made me feel very confident that they were being thoughtful and careful with their precautions. 

Westward ho - I left home on Sunday, which gave me all day Monday in case there were travel issues. Tuesday was my covid test at the studio and then Wednesday was the day of destiny.  

It turns out that I didn't need the extra travel day - everything went smoothly. But I was glad to have the extra 24 hours to sit on the deck of my Airbnb and study the National Geographic book of countries from 1985 and hoping not too much had changed. Well, Yugoslavia did, I guess. But there were so many countries that I didn't know. So many -stans!

(I also managed to binge watch Never Have I Ever and Shadow and Bone. But  my time was mostly taken up with geography, having given up on science. Again.)

On Tuesday I went to the studio (conveniently located right across the street from where I was staying) for a covid test. They were a well-oiled machine and had me in and out of there in 10 minutes. Reading, viewing, eating and settling my nerves constituted the rest of my day.

And then it was Wednesday! 

I got to the studio and met the rest of the contestant pool who would be playing the rest of the day. We were all excited and chatty and it felt a lot like camp. The staff was composed of true professionals who made us all feel confident that we would be ushered through this experience smoothly. 

We sat in the audience section of the WHEEL OF FORTUNE set. There were signs everywhere telling us not to touch the Wheel. As if! We would never demean ourselves that way. There then commenced a couple of hours of instructions, another 50 question test. It turns out they were testing the test for future applicants. I was happy to help. I've never met a 50 question trivia test I didn't like!

We were introduced to Matt and told of his three - soon to be four- game streak. We shot daggers at him with our eyes and began to plan his demise. Except he was really nice and seemed almost embarrassed to be so exceptional at playing the game. We decided to accept him. (And still try to vanquish him, of course.)

We were taken to the set where we played a practice round. I got to touch the "signaling device" and felt like Indiana Jones when he touches the grail. It was glorious!

My chosen outfit was found wanting. I was wearing an open weave sweater over a white shirt and, to be frank, it looked weird as hell. We had been told to bring three outfits, in case we had  (got!) to play more than one game. Ever the optimist, I brought five. None of them was great, but we worked it out. 

We were told to do our own hair and makeup before coming to the studio. This, of course, threw me into a tizzy. My son's girlfriend taught me how to use makeup, but it was clearly not my strong suit. Luckily the hair and makeup people were delightful and made me look amazing! My face was it's regular old self, but smoother and less ruddy. My hair looked AMAZING! Have you ever heard of a curling iron? I might just invest in one. 

I bonded with the sound guy over our love of Grover Beach, California and he gave me the skinny on all the previous hosts. I won't spill any secrets, but I will say that he told me when Alex was hosting they were finished at about 3 pm every filming day. He said the average end time with the guests hosts was about 8 pm. He also said that while all the guest hosts were nice people and improved as their hosting time went on, Mayim Bialik was the one who got the rhythm of the process the quickest. Well, she is a PhD, after all!

Finally it was time for the first game. Matt was trying to keep his seat against Kathleen and Patrick. You probably already know what happened. Poor Patrick just couldn't catch a break! It was my worst nightmare unfolding in front of me, but happening to someone else. I always over-inflate my ability to guess and I could totally have seen the same thing happen to me. It could have happened to any of us! Well, probably not Matt - the guy's a machine.  Kathleen did her best, but there was no beating him. 

We all felt awful for Patrick, but he took it well. I bet he is going to get free beers for the rest of his life, telling people of the record he broke. He didn't hang around after his game as the rest of us did, and it was too bad. He is a nice guy. If you know him, don't you DARE bust his chops about this. It is terrifying on the stage. I mean, in a good way, but still.  He was taking chances like a boss and sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't. I bet he's still the best trivia player in Mountain Valley. 

As soon as that game ended, with all of us in a bit of shock, they called the next two players up. Jon and I looked at each other - him with cool confidence, me with a mix of dread and excitement - and we hit the stage. 

And here is where my story ends. I can't say anything about my game or those after until they air so I will spill the beans on the rest of my adventure at the end of the week.