FIFTEEN by Beverly Cleary [chapters 9 & 10]

Chapter 9 - The Purdy's Telephone Does Not Ring

At the beginning of the chapter, Jane lets us know she is a girl with a plan too. "But first she would go to college and have a career. Just what career, she did not know - an airline stewardess, or a writer of advertising copy for a big department store, or perhaps a job at the American embassy in Paris - something like the girls in the pages of Mademoiselle, who always managed to be clever about clothes, and to be seen in interesting places with men who had crew cuts." 

Jane is all daydreams about Stan and honestly can't worry about watching the kid. Mrs. Scruggs insists on talking about milk when Stan might call. For the love of Pete, Mrs. Scruggs, shut up and hang up! Finally she does and Jane starts lunch. Patsy's repast is the stuff of nightmares, chopped liver and bacon - call DSS Jane, that's child abuse! Lunch was a lot more work before microwaves, just saying. 

All the childproofing that the wise, if chatty, Mrs. Scruggs put in place is off and when the phone rings - just a friend of Marilyn Scruggs - Patsy goes wild while Jane is distracted. But she is ultimately a good little nugget and Jane gets her fed. Then the little brat spends precious potential-Stan-calling time saying "I'm fine." to her mother over and over again. 

Jane comforts herself by thinking that Stan might not want to call her at a stranger's house. We find out that Jane makes 50 cents an hour. Well, back in the good old days you could get a pack of smokes for a quarter so...

When the job is over, Jane can't help but mention the possibility of a phone call. Marilyn Scruggs shows that she knows the skinny. 

Jane gets home to find her mother hogging the phone. Once she FINALLY hangs up, she has to call back because of that stupid Sir Puss. It's almost as if that cat hates romance!

Jane goes up stairs, fondles her back-scratcher and starts knitting Stan a sock. But the lack of Stan calling is ominous. Finally, Jane resigns herself. He's mad and he's not going to call. 

She is pining and Mr. Purdy tries to lighten the mood to no avail. Mom gets it, though. 

Goodbye, sock. 

• If she were a pin curl girl she would make a radio request.
• If she were an intellectual she would write hokkus.
• If she were earnest, she would write to the Teen Corner in the newspaper for advice.
• If she were a cashmere sweater girl, she would date a bunch of other boys and forget. 

But she's just a Jane Purdy type of girl and has no idea how she is going to get through this. 

She questions why she even tried to be like the wretched Marcy. She decides to be herself from now on. And we are all so pleased for her. She planned, "When she saw Stan she would act glad to see him, because no matter what had happened that was the way Jane Purdy felt."

Meanwhile, Julie - wing-woman extraordinaire - is at a cool-kid party and is hiding in the closet to call the now zen Jane. She cares not about the kiss and is the best friend ever. Turns out Stan is in the HOSPITAL! He isn't mad, he's sick! Too bad about the appendix Stan, but HURRAH!! Jane wonders how she behaves in this situation. I think we all remember how this next part...blooms.

CHAPTER 10 - Birnam Wood 

Jane wonders for three days what to do and settles on sending flowers. It's lovely to get flowers. And it is fun to get them because you know the person who sent them will love them. Unless they are a lady of the evening. They don't care for cut flowers - beauty cut down in it's prime and all that. I believe I learned that from the TALES OF THE CITY books - another wonderful Bay Area set masterwork. 

Jane decides to send some nice MASCULINE flowers. She checks with her mom who thinks a "loving hands at home" bouquet from the garden would be a very nice thing to do. Oh Mom, how tacky. (Although the ANNE OF GREEN GABLES books make homemade bouquets seem lovely.) But Jane needs some testosterone fueled MAN FLOWERS! She decides to visit DeLuca's Flowers after school tomorrow. 

After school the next day she is on her way. It is her first time doing something grown up (since dinner in the city, that is) and she is feeling confident. She has a hard time saying "masculine flowers" out loud but Mr. DeLuca is on the case. He's no Mr. Nibley, he knows what is what and saves the day with gladiolas. "Nothing sissy about glads, is there?" he asks, knowing full well that there is not. Anyone want to write the fan fic about how Mr. DeLuca and Mr. Nibley fall in love? 

One little wrinkle - there's no delivery under $5 and the flowers are $3.50. Now I would have tipped Mr. DeLuca the other dollar fifty and got them delivered. But if Jane had thought to do that, we'd miss out on a delightful story. Instead, she decides to just drop them off at the hospital, cool as a cucumber. She starts writing out the card. 

Then she sees the flowers. 

It's a three foot long ode to being a man. And Mr. DeLuca is so pleased and Jane has already paid. She's stuck. Marcy would have said, "Just wrap them plainly you silly man!" But Jane and I try to be thoughtful customers. She decides to just be herself and deliver the damn things. 

Of course, she has to walk right by Nibley's. There is a herd of boys out front, including the loathsome Buzz, who objectifies her legs. Jane hits that work, junior grade with a zinger. Her dad would be proud! Well, she has learned at the feet of a master. 

Then Marcy comes out and is a stone cold bitch, bringing up the dance. Jane smacks her down, twice! This new Jane Purdy takes no guff from anyone. Julie and Liz, who make a much nicer couple than Julie and Buzz, are headed into Nibley's. Julie reacts with just the right amount of concern and offers to go with Jane. She demurs. She'll be okay. Liz sounds a little superior about having read the Scottish play, but maybe Jane is reading into it. She'll have to read it as a junior so why bother now? 

She makes another witticism and a boy in a "second year letterman's sweater" - Ooh, a bigwig! Maybe a SENIOR! - offers to accompany her. She declines this offer as well. He seems smitten with this original recipe Jane Purdy. 

Jane gets to the hospital to learn that Stan has been discharged. The nurse just gives Jane his address - it was a different time - and she giggles to herself and carries on. 

She gets to Poppy Lane and meets Stan's horrifying little sister to whom he is probably the world's greatest hero. Stan's mother is a delight and asks if she is the Jane Purdy Stan speaks of so highly and invites her to dinner sometime. The little sister says, "Boy does Stan like you!" And now I love her. 

Jane's ordeal is over and she is ecstatic! She is even feeling kindly to that old troublemaker Sir Puss. He is having none of it. He has a lot of personality for a cat. 

Then Stan calls and says the flowers were sure pretty. Yeah, Stan, sure pretty MASCULINE! He says he was a little mad about the Buzz situation, but only because he wished it was him. He asks her to go to the steak bake and movie and she says yes. I predict a 99% chance of kissing! 

This is going to be the longest 2 weeks of Jane's life.