WE'RE GOING STEADY by Janet Lambert [chapter 1]

Janet Lambert REALLY hates going steady. She has a definite game plan for her girls and that involves playing the field, even if they do have a young man already picked out. It goes without saying that her heroines don't do anything physical except maybe the occasional kiss, but NO TONGUE! She is a prude, no getting around it. But here's the thing, she's not entirely wrong. 

I just read BAD GIRLS NEVER SAY DIE by Jennifer Mathieu and it shows how dangerous it could be to "go all the way" in a pre-pill USA. An unmarried pregnancy was no joke. And many an unhappy marriage came about because of one. And don't get me started on homes for unwed mothers. 

But not Janet's girls. They stayed squeaky-clean. Hence Patty and Ginger. These two ninth graders are best friends, but oh so different. Patty is very pretty and very invested in being in with the in crowd. Even if that means she's going steady with someone she can barely be bothered with.  Ginger is a good time girl - not that kind, get your mind out of the gutter - she gets caught up in fun and doesn't care what her hair looks like if she is laughing and enjoying herself. 

The book begins exposition-ing us into Patty's world. She lives in a nice - but not too nice - rural suburb outside of Philly which does not appear to exist in real life. She is a bit self-centered and loud and obsessed with the telephone. Your typical 1958 teenager. One thing I love about Janet is that there is no judgement here. She remembers that the typical teen isn't out to hurt her parent's feelings, they are just a hot mess of hormones. Hormones that they can and WILL conquer!

She loves the after school dances at the teen center. I mean, they're not real dances they are really just the equivalent of a group-hang. Unless you have the misfortune of GOING STEADY. Spoiler: Patty is going steady. 

It is amazing how things changed even with the advent of the cordless phone. I have said many, many times that I am glad that there were no cell phones in the 1980s - and they were rarely seen in the 90s. I got into enough trouble with the regular old phone, thank you very much. Someday I will write the stories of my early cat-fishing days. What?? I could have been a cute college girl and not a pudgy 15 year old nerd when I called all those late night disc jockeys to flirt. It's just that I wasn't. Anyway back to Patty.

She has a jones for phone, but her mother will only let her talk on the extension in the master bedroom if she calls Ginger and doesn't call Steve, like a fast girl. It's okay, Patty far prefers to talk to Ginger and it doesn't even make her think about the health of her relationship with Steve. Oh, Patty, I remember so well learning to figure this shit out. It's a process, honey, don't worry.

They talk about Steve, then there is a family dinner worthy of an MST3K short at which older brother Douglas' girlfriend Bonnie allows him to hold her hand - "OPENLY,  RIGHT ON THE TABLE BESIDE HIS DESSERT PLATE!" (all caps, my edit...) Bonnie is nice girl, poised and headed for Vassar when they graduate high school at the end of the year.

The family has a full house that evening: the parents are having the Allstairs over for bridge. Oh I could write another chapter of my memoirs about bridge night! How I loved it! My parents would have 3 other couples (and their kids) over for cards and we would all watch Nanny and the Professor, The Brady Bunch and The Partridge Family with some rando kids we only saw once a month at bridge club. I remember VIVIDLY a trip to the grocery store to get snacks for Bridge Club and I could not have been older than 10. It loomed large - classiest thing my parents ever did! No, just kidding, my mom was, and usually remains, pretty classy.

But I digress... 

Patty is resigned to the bedroom when Ginger comes to sleep over and they pick up the conversation right where they left off. Horrible news - Ginger has a blind date (it deserves all caps, but I really must learn to restrain myself) It's her rich aunt's best friend's grandson. And since Aunt Mag is the rich relative that helps pay for stuff, Ginger has to put out. And by "put out" I mean put out the hand of friendship to welcome this young man to the dance.  It's sure to be a mess! Stay tuned...

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So I just recorded myself reading the first chapter and am putting up the video so you can hear the whole thing. Or if you prefer my reading aloud without as much of my face, feel free to just listen to the audio. 

I have this idea for a podcast,  called THE FIRST HIT IS FREE, where I read the first chapter of a bunch of old books, probably most of them out of print. If the writer is still around, maybe I invite them to talk about it. Maybe if I learn a bit of editing, and how to be more interesting, I even add some commentary. Who knows! But for now, it is much easier to just upload a video to youtube. 

I firmly believe that I may be the only audience for this and that is okay, I love the sound of my own voice and I love to read out loud. But if you want to hear the whole megillah - well, here's your chance. And be warned that I didn't do any editing so, it's basic. But I had fun!

To be clear, I have been taught that 10% of a work is fair use for copyright. And hopefully, if you like what you hear you will go to IMAGE CASCADE PUBLISHING at https://imagecascade.com/ and buy the heck out of some 20th century girls' books! They are not an advertiser - And how sweet of you thinking that I would have an advertiser! - but they are awesome and I love them. 

SO here is the link to the video - https://youtu.be/LjSMKe9-_jA

And here is the audio file* - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1YH5l4jy5UnFLGRZ0-hvzIhRfk2zIT6lW/view?usp=sharing

*Upon listening, I realize I only love the sound of my own voice in my head. Recorded...well...maybe your standards are lower than mine.