CHAPTER 5:
We're back and Patty's lipstick is on point. Dark enough to be interesting, but not so dark as to cause trouble. And Bonnie has taught her how to apply it so she doesn't look skanky. She meets Steve to walk to school and he sweet talks her. But she is pissed. She spent all day Sunday waiting for him to call and he was in Philly with his folks. She acts highhanded and then picks away at his cheerleading skills. Wow, Patty, way to drag a fella to his knees. They plan to meet for lunch.
After school, Patty and Ginger are at Ginger's and we hear of two people who will play a larger part in the Patty and Ginger saga - Spark Plug, Ginger's neighbor who is a motor-head junior grade with a carburetor where his heart will be and Mary Lou whose defining characteristic is that she is fat. And single. Yes, in this particular crowd I am definitely the Mary Lou.
Mary Lou is starting a club and having a slumber party to kick it off, but Patty can't join. It's a Girls Who Don't Go Steady club. Miss Maxwell, their homeroom and Latin teacher is sponsoring it. It's a movement! At this point we find out that the Palmers are Republicans and Ginger's parents are Democrats, but they're both Presbyterians (of COURSE they are!) so it's okay.
They have a fight about the "frumpy club" and as things are escalating, Tim comes to the door bearing flowers. Patty thinks it's a "date" but he's all like, "Who dates in the afternoon??" and says he saw Steve "hot-footing to the dancing joint" meaning the teen center, and assumed Patty would be there like the steady-going ball and chain she is. She haughtily says she doesn't go there every day and Ginger does not roll her eyes on the outside but they are opened wide in amazement of this bald faced lie. She invites Tim to Spark Plug's to work on the car. Patty goes home regretting her life choices.
CHAPTER 6:
Patty heads home feeling unwanted only to find her brother and his girl being all weird and writing stuff. Douglas busts her chops about talking to Tim and she points out that he and Bonnie seem to have an open relationship. Oh Patty, you don't even understand what it is like to be on their level!
When Mrs. Palmer comes in, Bonnie goes bonkers telling her that Douglas has been offered a job writing editorials for the local paper. Doug tries to give Bonnie credit, but she won't take it because he is the MAN. But she says she imagines that someday they might "have permanent seats on a panel show." Which seems adorable. But the gender role stuff is so prevalent, "When I get going, I'll do a woman's column and leave the political and psychological end to him," she says of her own future journalism career.
Apparently the Doug and Bonnie beat is the mind of the teenager. Doug has a column ready to go - "What the Young Fry Think About" and from the way Bonnie is acting it is not going to make Penny happy. However he has"some others ready. One on the importance of going out for sports, one on having a hobby, and a feminine slant on filling your time that Bonnie's working on." Is it just me or do these sound ripe for an MST3K makeover?
Patty leaves the room and Janet Lambert steps in, with Bonnie as her hip, young mouthpiece and gives a speech about how stupid going steady is. She nails it. "They're just out for the thrill." is as sexy as it gets, but the subtext is there. Doug informs his mother that the tack everyone should take is to press on Patty how important it is to be connected to Steve at the hip and Steve's essential dullness will take care of the rest. Along with some good old fashioned shunning.
Mrs. Palmer - who surely has a rich full life outside her children's', but not in this book - talks with Patty in the kitchen about that old, fat Mary Lou's party. But there is no sympathy there. And what is worse, Steve has an itching issue so he might not be available for dates this weekend. Oh well, sickness and health, right Patty?
Finally Mary Lou calls, explains that the cool teachers are helping with the celibacy club, and it is going to be cool and exclusive, like a sorority! Patty is flummoxed and says, to her mother, "Something's wrong somewhere...Because Mary Lou's a square. Not much of one, but sort of. She's fun, but she's fat. And Ginger has braces on her teeth. Not a single girl in our own special little crowd ever has real dates but me, so they're trying to make me think I'm wrong." And frankly, I am kind of impressed that Janet lets her main character be this much of a bitch. Her mother refuses to get drawn into her drama and you think that would be a clue. But Patty is just swirling in her own head.
CHAPTER 7
Patty is hiding her disappointment at being left out by hanging out with Steve 24/7. Her parents miss her friends so much that when Ginger, Tim and Spark Plug show up on Sunday, they practically throw together a pop-up rave. They pull out records and give up two dollars worth of fruit for the cause! Then they decide to go to "the club" for dinner and leave the kids the house. Mrs. Palmer knows it will be trashed tomorrow but the cleaning woman will be coming so she can take care of it. You know, if it weren't for that dud, Patty. I might enjoy being Mrs. Palmer.
There is good, wholesome, Sloppy-Joe-fueled fun going on. News of a hayride is bandied about and things are awkward for a minute until Ginger fixes is so that some steady-going girls are allowed to attend the GWDGS Club event, like missionary work. There is some gross talk about selling off girls to the highest bidder that is reminiscent of Jane Purdy's ill-fated kiss in FIFTEEN.
The Palmers come home and Patty is so excited about the hay ride. She nearly gets her dad to spring for some new pajamas, "the kind with silk slacks and a quilted silk jacket?" But her mom says Christmas is coming and the jammies can wait, but in the meantime Patty can borrow her read silk set for the slumber party after the hayride.
Patty is ecstatic and calls her parents "cute" over and over and Mrs. Palmer thinks, "Please try to find some other work with which to express your feelings for us. Sometimes I think I'll scream if you call me 'cute' again." But she doesn't say it because she doesn't want to spoil Patty's happiness with criticism. I feel you, Mrs. Palmer. I really do!
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