If I had just read Alexi Grishin's THE LEGENDS OF THE KNIGHTS TEMPLAR instead of only claiming to have read it, I might be sitting in my own beautiful hot tub right now. But even though I remain unsubmerged, my Jeopardy journey is still one I will never regret. And one that I am becoming increasingly unable to remember. Hence the writing it down!
Before I begin my story chronologically, as God intended, here are the answers to the two questions people have asked me over and over.
1. I would have loved Levar Burton as host for many reasons - his warmth and kindness foremost - but it is a steep learning curve to run the game smoothly and quickly. I think the producer who has been on the show for years and the astrophysicist who was a natural and had everyone out of the studio in Alex Trebek level time were smart picks initially if the studio was hoping to be able to stop paying the crew massive overtime right away. Of course that didn't work out, but I adore Ken Jennings - read his books, and his Tweets, he's hysterical!
2. Matt was lovely, I am thrilled that he continues to win. And win. And win. Here is a nice article about him that will make you like him too.
And now that I have cleared those up. This is a face I made on actual television.
And that is how I actually felt the WHOLE TIME. But I was able to hid it a wee bit...
They played the song, we were introduced, Levar came out and talked about RIF (Reading is Fundamental), he revealed the categories and we were off!
Matt got the first two, but I rang in for the $1000 clue about the alphabet. And it was a -stan!! I studied those! I rang in and there was an uncomfortably long pause before Levar told me I got to answer. It was Uzbekistan! The greatest of all the -stans! (Not counting Sebastian Stan, of course.)
Matt showboated for three more questions and then John got one.
But then we were back to geography - my sweet spot, who knew?? It was the Great Lakes. You bet I knew this one. Although I made a nervous face of relief after leading to my second favorite tweet of the night.
My favorite city in the world is Minneapolis (Suck it, London!) and I would have sworn that I swept that category. But Matt got Jesse Ventura. I knew it, just not quickly enough to beat that over-educated youngster. I got hip replacement, though! Us golden-agers know all about the hip replacements.
I got bicameral, but Speedy McYale beat me on byline. And he got the first daily double. DRAT!!
Then the Minneapolis Miracle happened! They showed the statue that reminds the residents of the Twin Cities that they are going to make it after all and Matt ID-ed it as Mary Tyler Moore. I was pissed, but then I (slowly) realized that they asked for the CHARACTER! Jon rang in before me, but he guessed the wrong Mary and I was thrilled to put that to bed with Mary RICHARDS!! None of us was willing to guess on state capitals and we went to commercial break.
Except we didn't - we just went to the stories part. Jon talked about his girls. I told a stupid story about writing new lyrics to songs. And I said I can rewrite any song after 1962, but it is really 1992 - so it isn't that stupid of a skill. Levar called it a super-power, so whatever! I had two funny jokes on the topic, but because we only have about 10 seconds apiece, I did not get to deliver them. I wish I had talked about the Betsy Tacy Convention or my colleagues with whom I play trivia, but I went with this one. It was fine, but I was hoping to get a laugh. Oh well.
Matt and I both messed up hurricane categories, but I got the eye, and land. Because I have been in hurricanes. Then I didn't get any for awhile.
I got the median nerve, because it is the middle child of the nerves. I went back to the alphabet and got San Diego! And then I made this face on television.
When will I learn how cameras work?
Then we came back for double Jeopardy. Not that we went anywhere. No commercial breaks for the contestants, or for Levar.
During the round there were some timing issues and a question that needed to be replaced, but since I was in a fugue state and remember very little that I can't see on TV, I don't remember the specifics. But it was interesting how it all went together. When they changed up the clue, we all had to turn our backs to the board - that's all I remember. Sorry. There is a reason I tell myself to write things down as soon as they happen. And yet...
ON TO DOUBLE JEOPARDY!
Levar presents the categories and Jon picks first. I got Sweeny Todd, Gene Wilder, Brie Larson (awkwardly) and Jon got the other two (in the Actors Sing category) so clearly pop culture is not Matt's bag! He got LEGO and started on the Knights Templar.
Matt missed the answer about what the knights decorated their outfits with by saying "cross" and I tried to bat cleanup with "crucifix" - which I quickly realized was a stupid answer and proceeded to roll my eyes at myself and make an almost cricifix-y arm movement.
Ooh - but look! I'm beating Matt here - ever so briefly... And then Matt got the first daily double. It is a good thing, because I would have bet everything and lost it all because I had no idea. He quickly got the next daily double which he got wrong, but I would have gotten it right. Alas...
It was the Matt show for the next bunch of questions. None of us would guess on the Templars - why didn't I read Alexi's book??? - Jon got a couple, but it's mostly Matt. None of us were guessing on those foreign jobs. But then Ladies of the 80's came up. Why, I am a lady of the 80's! I was pleased.
I got Vanity Fair, Gerry Ferraro and my favorite part of the whole show, gently admonishing America to "Just Say No" to drugs. (And everyone who knew me in college started laughing uproariously, I am sure...)
Then Matt and I both missed Florence Griffith Joyner and Levar was like, "It's Flo-Jo, you dumbasses!" [And Twitter concurred. They ripped all of us new ones for missing the most famous Black female athlete of the 80s. Did they not notice we are huge nerds?]
In my defense, it was a sports question and I shouldn't even have guessed, but I did remember Jackie Joyner-Kersee because I loved the way her name rolled off the tongue and was even in alphabetical order. And hyphenated! So, so sophisticated.
Here is Levar's face when we missed it. Pretty priceless...
I would have gotten Sally Ride, but frickin' Matt was too dang fast. Jon beat him on Bank though. And I got the Pope, so there... And I snuck in Coral at the last minute keeping it from being a complete shut-out.
Fun fact - only 5 of Matt's games were not shut-outs and as of September 30, I came closer to beating him in the final score than anyone. (That is why I hope he keeps winning forever.)
And now ON TO FINAL JEOPARDY -
You can't see the little bit of my soul that died when Levar announces the category MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURES. I don't know anything about mythology and even less about animals. It might as well have been SPORTS FASHIONS. Alas...
Now, here is some insider info about final Jeopardy. Those little blocker things that come up look HUGE when you are on stage, but I had never even noticed them before! And they give you all the time you need to put in your wager. We were like 10 minutes doing simple math over and over to make sure we got it right. I knew the only way I would win would be if Matt didn't get it right and I did, so I only had to beat 24,400. But if I got it wrong, I still wanted to be able to beat Jon and get my second place winnings! And it only took me 10 minutes to figure out how to do that. They also remind you to write WHAT IS before you put down your answer. Apparently too many people were getting it wrong for want of the form of a question.
When I heard the question, I was thrilled! I have to thank Albus Dumbledore for that. He was a horrible educator, but he knew his way around a Phoenix. When they showed us answering the question, Matt looked like he was really confused, I looked like I was drawing a cartoon and Jon looked like he was hoping for the best.
Jon missed it, but smartly gave himself $50 in case I bought the farm. Then it was revealed that I got it correct! The host is supposed to give what they call "the factoid" after the first correct answer, but Levar kept forgetting. (It was his FIRST DAY, cut him some slack!) It was wonderful for me because every time he revealed my score he would say, "You're in the lead, Barb!" and I could have listened to that all day. Sadly, it was cut in editing, I guess. But here is the beautiful picture of me BEATING MATT'S ASS!!
But it was still awesome. I got to ask Levar if he would care for a Coco Nono and he answered right back, "I never lie when I have sand in my shoes." And I swooned like any self-respecting Start Trek fangirl.
Then Jon told a beautiful story about how Levar instilled a love of reading in him through READING RAINBOW that changed the entire course of his life and I choked up. And I think Levar did too. Honestly, everyone involved in the entire process was just wonderful. Everyone on staff was professional and helpful. Levar was everything I dreamed he would be as a host and as a human being. The other contestants were fun and collegial - even Matt. He was a sincerely nice guy and deserves all his success.
I just wish he was a few seconds slower on that signaling device.
Wonderful story! Wished I could have seen your claim to fame but was out of country. So glad you’re such a great story teller!!
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