LOVE TAPS GENTLY by Janet Lambert

 There is much to find icky in this book and it can all be laid at the feet of that decrepit old man on the hipper cover above - Bobby Parrish. 

Oh Bobby, he started out as a teasing lout and remains so, but also a borderline pedophile who is "in love" with 16 year old Susan Jordan, in spite of being a (barely) West Point graduate. 

There are some sweet parts of this book, of course, but the looming threat of Bobby's dreams of love just make me want to hurl. Only the reintroduction of snotty little Bitsy and the delightful schadenfreude of Gwenn's near death experience make this worth reading.

So - to recap from A DREAM FOR SUSAN - Susan, her twin Neal and ol' whatshisname (okay, fine, it's Vance) are now living in their little dream cottage on the Parrish estate and their dad, newly retired from the military, is living with them. 

Two bolts from the blue hit them at once. First, Gwenn - the most horrible of all the Jordans - is planning on suing her step-father (Susan's dad, it's a lot of exposition, just trust me) for mis-managing her inheritance from her mother. He has not, and Alcie (now married to Jonathan Drayton and happy) can back this up. But Gwenn's stupid, vain husband Bill is running through cash and she has to do something. ALSO, little sister Bitsy who has been living in England with the oldest Jordan, Jennifer and her titled husband, is coming back to the good old US of A to be raised as an AMERICAN girl. 

So. Much. DRAMA!

There is much decorating, changing of rooms and generally getting ready for Bitsy. Also, Keith Drayton (Alcie's brother in law) is a clean teen who is very into Susan. At one point she almost thinks about considering going steady with him. But she doesn't for no good reason other than Janet Lambert thinks going steady is for whores. 

Bitsy arrives and is a snot who we figure out is jealous that Jennifer (essentially her mother for most of her life) has had a baby of her own. But she gets better. As with so many of us, she observes the horror-show that is Gwenn and decides to be a better person. 

Gwenn comes to get her filthy lucre, but it turns out that she is super skinny and all drugged up and needs to be sedated and fed. She ends up back with Bill and is hopefully going to get the help that she needs, far, far away. 

And then there's Bobby. He declares his love for Susan even though it is clear that it makes her deeply uncomfortable. He kisses her, so now she is soiled, or marked for death or something. He is just gross. It seems like he is just too entitled and lazy to go find a more age-appropriate future wife. It is a textbook case of grooming. In his (mild, barely-deserved) defense, he doesn't want to marry her now, he wants to wait for her, but still, he is desperately trying to take away her agency in the whole future of her love life and I hate it. I don't have a problem with age difference in relationships, even in Lambert. Penny Parrish and her husband are 10+ years apart, but they met as adults and they are a good fit. Bobby just creeps me out. Have I made that clear?

I am now more than halfway through A SONG IN THEIR HEARTS and am becoming reacquainted with Candy Kane, and am enjoying a pretty feminist sub-plot from the usually patriarchal Lambert. Perhaps that will get the taste of Bobby Parrish out of my mouth. And yes, I know how gross that sounds. Now you know how I feel!